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Category Archives: Ill-Conceived

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Don’t Tell Me Now


Welcome to Hell. May I take your order?

Have you seen our new dessert menu?

Do you own a pet?

(Today, this Blog answers a reader’s question. Have a question? Leave it in a comment or whisper it to yourself obsessively, over and over again, while using public transportation.)
Once I had a pond with enormous goldfish, bright, almost luminous, orange and left on their own for the past decade or more. But at age 5, [...]

One Good Turn…

(Published as the cover review in the Contemporary sometime in 2000)
I stole my first screwdriver from my grandfather when I was seven. We had been using it in the assembly of an Guillow wooden airplane (a Sopwith Camel), although how we had been using it escapes me, as I remember lathering the press-cut balsa pieces [...]

Today’s Outlook

Somewhat unproductive.
This weekend in New York was enjoyable, but I’m still mulling over the implications of it, if any. Actually, that’s not exactly right. I’m considering next steps because I don’t know the implications. Everything is so opaque, and I think about things that are hopelessly opaque too much. There are implications that I don’t [...]

Review: Lemon

(Was this ever published?)
Lemon by Lawrence Krauser (McSweeney’s Books, 2001)
Wendell writes memorandums for the payroll department of Fuller Communications Company, Inc., Fuller referring to Buckminster Fuller of Dymaxion fame, videos of whose lectures play endlessly in the company’s lobby.
The lemon sits on the floor of the tiny foyer inside the outer door of his building. [...]

deconstructing free-market philosophy

(Another found document, this one from…I’m not sure. Maybe 1998 or 1999. Was I serious in writing this or was it a joke? I hope the latter but fear the former is closer to the truth. And don’t ask about the hyphenation.)
deconstructing free-market philosophy
There is an inherent fallacy in the means by which many in [...]

Log from February 22, 2000

(Note: For a while, I kept a sort-of diary on my computer. Until this evening, it was lost. But now it’s found. As for this entry, I don’t remember who Matt is, and Jenn and I drank, if I recall correctly, a bottle of whiskey, which we then smashed on the floor. This might have [...]

Bus Blinders

On the Metro yesterday, I sat in the front row by a door, reading a case on my laptop, plastic-flanged buds planted firmly in ears. The train stopped, and someone got on and someone got off. The seat next to mine was empty and then it was filled.
My seat-mate had very nice hair. Thick [...]